10. Memorize the Dewey Decimal System, & recite it to liven up dinner parties.
9. Reshelve the educational theory books under "fiction".
8. Check out all copies of books on how to improve your memory, then tell the librarian you can't remember where they are.
7. Instead of checking things in, offer to buy them. Don't take no for an answer!
6. Stand near the exit gates, & "beep" as people walk through.
5. Ask the librarian how to turn the videotape over to watch the other side.
4. Ask the reference librarian for all information about the negative consequences of losing ones' temper; act really impatient while he or she looks.
3. Go to a computer near the circulation desk, hold the mouse like a microphone & repeatedly ask where the computer books are.
2. Attend the story hour & tell them your inner child just wants to listen.
1. Above all: microcon!